This race has beenThis raceThis race has been growing, but also breaking. I have seen things come out of my life that I thought I was or had held my identity in but in fact was hurting those around me and burdening people that I love most. This race has been growing, but also breaking. I have seen things come out of my life that I thought I was or had held my identity in but in fact was hurting those around me and burdening people that I love most.
This race has been growing, but also breaking. I have seen things come out of my life that I thought I was or had held my identity in but in fact was hurting those around me and burdening people that I love most.
The first thing I have seen come out of me is my strength.
I thought being strong and well put together was to my own and others benefit, by not bringing my baggage to the table. But it ended up hurting people because I wasn’t being real, vulnerable or allowing myself to be weak. I was unintentionally, with my actions, telling people my life is way to put together to be disturbed by how you are feeling. But this is starting to be broken in me. I am seeing that my own brokenness is actually one of my greatest strengths. Because nobody can relate to somebody who is always strong, always put together and is never weak. Because that was just a false sense of reality. But I am finding that I no longer want to boast in my strength and being well put together, but instead I am boasting in my weakness and how through that Christ can be strong in me. In my weakness I can break down the walls that separate me from those around me and really walk into brokenness with those I love.
The second thing is my security.
I walked around in life counting myself lucky to be pretty much secure in myself. But I have recently realized that it was all wrapped up in my sense of strength and the fact that I was keeping a smiling face in the midst of my mind being in turmoil. When I walked into being a team leader last month, all my insecurities came out full force. Feelings of inadequacy, my desire to please, and trying to always seek the approval of others. I am still walking in the process of discovering my security in God. So that I can be real and fully open with my heart to show people how I feel, breathe and survive daily by the grace of God.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am still in need of $834.15 to reach my final deadline and be fully funded. Any little bit would help! Thanks!
The Romanian Countryside
This race has been growing, but also breaking. I have seen things come out of my life that I thought I was or had held my identity in but in fact was hurting those around me and burdening people that I love most.
The first thing I have seen come out of me is my strength.
I thought being strong and well put together was to my own and others benefit, by not bringing my baggage to the table. But it ended up hurting people because I wasn’t being real, vulnerable or allowing myself to be weak. I was unintentionally, with my actions, telling people my life is way to put together to be disturbed by how you are feeling. But this is starting to be broken in me. I am seeing that my own brokenness is actually one of my greatest strengths. Because nobody can relate to somebody who is always strong, always put together and is never weak. Because that was just a false sense of reality. But I am finding that I no longer want to boast in my strength and being well put together, but instead I am boasting in my weakness and how through that Christ can be strong in me. In my weakness I can break down the walls that separate me from those around me and really walk into brokenness with those I love.
The second thing is my security.
I walked around in life counting myself lucky to be pretty much secure in myself. But I have recently realized that it was all wrapped up in my sense of strength and the fact that I was keeping a smiling face in the midst of my mind being in turmoil. When I walked into being a team leader last month, all my insecurities came out full force. Feelings of inadequacy, my desire to please, and trying to always seek the approval of others. I am still walking in the process of discovering my security in God. So that I can be real and fully open with my heart to show people how I feel, breathe and survive daily by the grace of God.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am still in need of $834.15 to reach my final deadline and be fully funded. Any little bit would help! Thanks!
This race has been growing, but also breaking. I have seen things come out of my life that I thought I was or had held my identity in but in fact was hurting those around me and burdening people that I love most.
The first thing I have seen come out of me is my strength.
I thought being strong and well put together was to my own and others benefit, by not bringing my baggage to the table. But it ended up hurting people because I wasn’t being real, vulnerable or allowing myself to be weak. I was unintentionally, with my actions, telling people my life is way to put together to be disturbed by how you are feeling. But this is starting to be broken in me. I am seeing that my own brokenness is actually one of my greatest strengths. Because nobody can relate to somebody who is always strong, always put together and is never weak. Because that was just a false sense of reality. But I am finding that I no longer want to boast in my strength and being well put together, but instead I am boasting in my weakness and how through that Christ can be strong in me. In my weakness I can break down the walls that separate me from those around me and really walk into brokenness with those I love.
The second thing is my security.
I walked around in life counting myself lucky to be pretty much secure in myself. But I have recently realized that it was all wrapped up in my sense of strength and the fact that I was keeping a smiling face in the midst of my mind being in turmoil. When I walked into being a team leader last month, all my insecurities came out full force. Feelings of inadequacy, my desire to please, and trying to always seek the approval of others. I am still walking in the process of discovering my security in God. So that I can be real and fully open with my heart to show people how I feel, breathe and survive daily by the grace of God.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am still in need of $834.15 to reach my final deadline and be fully funded. Any little bit would help! Thanks!
This race has been growing, but also breaking. I have seen things come out of my life that I thought I was or had held my identity in but in fact was hurting those around me and burdening people that I love most.
The first thing I have seen come out of me is my strength.
I thought being strong and well put together was to my own and others benefit, by not bringing my baggage to the table. But it ended up hurting people because I wasn’t being real, vulnerable or allowing myself to be weak. I was unintentionally, with my actions, telling people my life is way to put together to be disturbed by how you are feeling. But this is starting to be broken in me. I am seeing that my own brokenness is actually one of my greatest strengths. Because nobody can relate to somebody who is always strong, always put together and is never weak. Because that was just a false sense of reality. But I am finding that I no longer want to boast in my strength and being well put together, but instead I am boasting in my weakness and how through that Christ can be strong in me. In my weakness I can break down the walls that separate me from those around me and really walk into brokenness with those I love.
The second thing is my security.
I walked around in life counting myself lucky to be pretty much secure in myself. But I have recently realized that it was all wrapped up in my sense of strength and the fact that I was keeping a smiling face in the midst of my mind being in turmoil. When I walked into being a team leader last month, all my insecurities came out full force. Feelings of inadequacy, my desire to please, and trying to always seek the approval of others. I am still walking in the process of discovering my security in God. So that I can be real and fully open with my heart to show people how I feel, breathe and survive daily by the grace of God.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am still in need of $834.15 to reach my final deadline and be fully funded. Any little bit would help! Thanks!
has been growing, but also breaking. I have seen things come out of my life that I thought I was or had held my identity in but in fact was hurting those around me and burdening people that I love most.
The first thing I have seen come out of me is my strength.
I thought being strong and well put together was to my own and others benefit, by not bringing my baggage to the table. But it ended up hurting people because I wasn’t being real, vulnerable or allowing myself to be weak. I was unintentionally, with my actions, telling people my life is way to put together to be disturbed by how you are feeling. But this is starting to be broken in me. I am seeing that my own brokenness is actually one of my greatest strengths. Because nobody can relate to somebody who is always strong, always put together and is never weak. Because that was just a false sense of reality. But I am finding that I no longer want to boast in my strength and being well put together, but instead I am boasting in my weakness and how through that Christ can be strong in me. In my weakness I can break down the walls that separate me from those around me and really walk into brokenness with those I love.
The second thing is my security.
I walked around in life counting myself lucky to be pretty much secure in myself. But I have recently realized that it was all wrapped up in my sense of strength and the fact that I was keeping a smiling face in the midst of my mind being in turmoil. When I walked into being a team leader last month, all my insecurities came out full force. Feelings of inadequacy, my desire to please, and trying to always seek the approval of others. I am still walking in the process of discovering my security in God. So that I can be real and fully open with my heart to show people how I feel, breathe and survive daily by the grace of God.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am still in need of $834.15 to reach my final deadline and be fully funded. Any little bit would help! Thanks!
growing, but also breaking. I have seen things come out of my life that I thought I was or had held my identity in but in fact was hurting those around me and burdening people that I love most.
The first thing I have seen come out of me is my strength.
I thought being strong and well put together was to my own and others benefit, by not bringing my baggage to the table. But it ended up hurting people because I wasn’t being real, vulnerable or allowing myself to be weak. I was unintentionally, with my actions, telling people my life is way to put together to be disturbed by how you are feeling. But this is starting to be broken in me. I am seeing that my own brokenness is actually one of my greatest strengths. Because nobody can relate to somebody who is always strong, always put together and is never weak. Because that was just a false sense of reality. But I am finding that I no longer want to boast in my strength and being well put together, but instead I am boasting in my weakness and how through that Christ can be strong in me. In my weakness I can break down the walls that separate me from those around me and really walk into brokenness with those I love.
The second thing is my security.
I walked around in life counting myself lucky to be pretty much secure in myself. But I have recently realized that it was all wrapped up in my sense of strength and the fact that I was keeping a smiling face in the midst of my mind being in turmoil. When I walked into being a team leader last month, all my insecurities came out full force. Feelings of inadequacy, my desire to please, and trying to always seek the approval of others. I am still walking in the process of discovering my security in God. So that I can be real and fully open with my heart to show people how I feel, breathe and survive daily by the grace of God.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am still in need of $834.15 to reach my final deadline and be fully funded. Any little bit would help! Thanks!
For the last 2 weeks since coming to Honduras I have been trying to come up with blog ideas. But the words just haven’t come. Every time I sit down to write, my mind goes blank and the emotion I have felt about this place just goes out the window.
But I am not going to let that keep me away from sharing. Because its not that this ministry sucks, because it totally doesn’t, its one of the most passionate and powerful that I have experienced yet. This ministry is doing amazing things for God and fighting hard for those who are broken. I think my mind is just having a hard time explaining the amazing ministry that we are encountering.
The view from our property
The ministry that we have been working with this month is called Zion’s Gate Ministries. This ministry is working in one of the poorest communities in Honduras called Los Pinos. This village is ravaged with gang violence, people addicted to huffing of paint thinner, robbery, plus many other things. This ministry is going in and trying to make a difference and show these people that there is a chance beyond what they are living in. The Director Tony loves to say “Everything is possible with God”. This statement is so true and so evident in the work that is being done in this ministry.
Tony has brought 11 boys between the age of 13-20 into his home to try and help them get out of the lives that they once lived and give them hopes of something better. These boys have seen so many crazy things in their life that I cannot even understand. One of the first meetings we had with Tony he said that the stories that we hear and even the ones we don’t (because some of the boys are not ready to share their stories with groups yet) will be something beyond what we can even comprehend. But despite all odds, this ministry is overcoming these things to try and give these boys the opportunities that they don’t realize that they have. He is pulling these boys out to show them that God has a life for them that is better then they have ever known. It’s a ministry of hope and opportunity, one that is inspiring a group of young people to come out of what they have always known and to become something that is new and greater.
These last couple weeks have been amazing and extremely inspiring. I cannot wait to share more with you in coming blogs. Be ready :)
Those moments when you play with a child so her mom can have some good conversation and healing without having to pay attention to her childs needs. The moment when you realize that playing with a beautiful child is your purpose in that moment.
When you surrender it all to God because you know that his route for your life is much better than one that you could ever plan.
Sitting in the courtyard in the morning with a few friends, before anyone else wakes up, each individually digging into Gods word and journaling. The quietness of the morning with a cup of coffee and meeting God right where he is at
Eating Papusa (an amazing Salvadorean dish made of tortillas that have cheese and beans fried into the middle) on the street.
Trying to have a skype conversation when the churches loud worship practice music is so loud you cant even hear your self think.
Riding in the back of a half size pickup truck with 9 other teammates for 2 hours, when your legs have no room to move and you are so cold without a jacket that you are fighting for warmth.
Sitting in a hair salon getting your part of your hair dyed purple for 3 dollars, just because. As your teammates find healing and freedom in the process.
The moment when you are trying to talk to someone and an advertisement truck drives past allowing your words to not be heard.
The moment when you are going to do ministry in a hospital and your adopted dog follows you inside and nobody inside the hospital freaks out or even seems to mind.
This month was definitely about the little moments. And I am starting to think that is what the race as well as life is all about. The moments of joy, of pain, of tears, of redemption. It is about holding on and embracing where I am supposed to be and living it to its absolute fullest. Although big moments do happen in life, it is not about waiting for those or praying for another one to happen soon (although those are great). But it is all about embracing and finding joy in the little moments. This year I know will definitely be all about the big and the small moments and I am ready for them all!
Also I only need about $2000 to be fully funded and be able to stay on the race. So if you are able to support me at all I would greatly appreciate it. Email me at kwinistorfer@gmail.com or click the support me link on the left! :) Thanks
So something crazy happened the other day. Let me paint a picture of the scene for you.
We had driven to a village at the base of a hill and had been walking around talking to people for about an hour inviting to them to street evangelism that we were going to do. We had finished inviting people so we were just waiting for people to start showing up. In the meantime we were playing with kids and resting in the shade.
Our group was about to start singing our first couple songs (of which I am not a part, because I do not have a good singing voice) when an older woman approached me. I was sitting on the ground on the side of the road when this woman about 4 and half feet tall walked up to me. She said hello to me in Spanish and asked very straightforward if I could pray for her eyes. Apparently she had something like cataracts that were slowly getting worse and would eventually lead to blindness. Impressed by her faith in Gods healing power I started to pray for her. A few of my teammates, Hugh and Jill came alongside me and joined in praying for this woman. We prayed for healing of her eyes for about 5 minutes then finished with an “amen”.
As we opened our eyes to see if she had been healed, we looked at her and realized that she still had her eyes closed continuing to pray. So we decided that we would join back in with her. We prayed for another 15ish minutes with her. During our second prayer session she started to raise her hands in worship to God as tears rolled down her face. This time when we said amen she opened her eyes and smiled at us. She proceeded to invite Hugh and I to her house, that was about all we got from our little understanding of Spanish. When we got there, we were confused at why we were there, but while standing on her porch we asked her in our little Spanish if her eyes were better. She said yes, we later asked her again through our translator to be sure we understood each other correctly. Her eyes had been completely healed.
I did not doubt that God could heal the beautiful woman that we met in the village, but I believe that her strong faith in God was what healed her. Nothing I could ever do.
“And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.” James 5:15
My Papoo (the Greek word for grandpa) was a strong and noble man. One of character and compassion. He was not a man of a lot of words, but I know he was always listening and cared more about his family than anything else. When he passed away two weeks ago I was so broken by the fact that I would not see him again, but realized that I do not doubt how he felt about me and that now he is no longer in pain or suffering. I loved him deeply and was always moved when he laughed or cried because of his great passion. My Papoo had such a beautiful heart and will carry him with me always.
The day of his memorial service, I was not able to be at home with my family but instead was in Apastepeque, El Salvador. On this particular day my team and I traveled out to village to talk and pray over people. The village was not just any average village, it was occupied by people who had been displaced in a hurricane that hit El Salvador in 2009. These people were living in makeshift houses that contained very little material belongings because most everything had been destroyed in the flood. Plus most of these people had lost family members and friends in the devastating incident.
There was a woman who was sitting at her window when we walked by. She was a beautiful woman that lit up the moment my teammate Kate and I said hello and introduced ourselves to her. It appeared that she lived by herself, stuck in a wheelchair because of physical deformities. But as we prayed for her and spoke to her in our broken Spanish her face just lit up and she seemed so thankful for the company. You could see all over her face the hope and joy that her life contained. Walking away from this moment inspired me to want to be a person that walks in the same kind of joy and that people can see it radiating off me. What a great reminder on the day that my beloved Papoo was going to be remembered.
The fact that I get the opportunity to be on a journey this year where I will get to meet people that I would never come across in daily life is amazing. The fact that I couldn’t be with my family during this hard time was difficult, but I still was able to skype into the memorial service and talk to and see most of my family members, which was a blessing. I love them all so much and am supporting and loving them from afar but know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Loving on people who have experienced difficult times in life and being able to extend them love and hope.
The first month is already done. It was a month of the new and different. Learning to live in constant community, learning what ministry looks like in another country, and just living daily with Christ. Something I learned a lot this month is the value of words. Words have power to bring life or death. They have power to bring glory or shame. They have the ability to bring laughter and confidence or insecurities and pain. I have seen the fact that the words that words have power and purpose even if I don’t think others are listening.
This month I learned this in my team. A group of beautiful women that all come to the table with different life experiences and very different stories. Words are a way for us to learn about each other and to learn from each other. The power that words carry teach us that it is very important to not just to speak carelessly, but to speak in truth and with purpose. What we say matters. I have seen the impact that words of the past have had on the truths that people believe about themselves and even how life is walked.
My Beautiful Team
There is a little boy at the orphanage in Guatemala named Gustavo who has a cleft palate. He is a couple months old and at the beginning of his life someone spoke death over him. Gustavo was found at the dump abandoned by his family, rejected by the very people who had given him life. But the orphanage decided to care for him and give him a chance at life. The hour and a half that I spent holding him was a chance for me to speak life in him, even though he may not remember. I want the power of my words to stay with him every day of his life. I want him to grow up into a strong and confident man because of the words that I got to speak into him. Words of strength and hope, which called him into the power of one day being a man of boldness and character.
Gustavo
This first month of the race has taught me a lot of valuable lessons about words and the fact that speaking with purpose and love is necessary. I do not want to be the reason that another person is walking in defeat and darkness. I want to give each person I know and those that I meet the chance to walk in the power of victory without having words of defeat spoken over them.
Mode of transportation- White Panel van with no windows (aka a stalker van)
So I have been in Guatemala now for a little over a week. And let me tell you it is such a beautiful country. The landscape of Puerto Barrios is green with mountains on one side and the Gulf of Mexico on the other. The people are welcoming, friendly and super understanding when it comes to my broken Spanish speaking.
This week we got our feet wet on what our work for the next month will look like. Each week we will be doing a variety of different ministries, all very different and challenging in there own unique way. Some of the major projects that we did this week:
> Visited the local orphanage. Since a lot of the orphanages in Guatemala have closed, we visited one of the ones that is still open and run by local nuns. I got the chance to hold a beautiful little girl, (named Angelee) who was the most curious little baby I have ever met, watching everyone that was walking by. It was so amazing to get to start off the week holding such an innocent child that does not have the luxury of having parents to hold and love her everyday of her life.
Angelee
> Visited the children’s hospital. We split up into groups and visited the different hospital wings. We sang to the children, talked to them, and prayed over them. It is a place of a lot of hurt and pain, so it was really cool to get them smiling and laughing at our broken attempts of singing in Spanish.
> Visited a nursing home. This was a really cool experience because many of them were just excited to have somebody visit them. My team and I sang for them, played animal charades and just sat with them. I was sitting in the back of the group while my team was performing and one woman just came and sat next to me and grabbed my hand not wanting to let go. So I put my arm around her shoulder and put my hand on hers and she seemed so content to feel connected. One of my teammates painted her fingernails and she was so excited, she was like a giddy little girl! It was so awesome!
The Woman I sat with all afternoon
The Nursing home
> Visited the prostitutes in the bars. We went into the bars one afternoon and got into conversations with the prostitutes, giving them a bag with some cookies, other treats, and a little verse about how much they are loved. One lady we talked to opened up very quickly and told us that she didn’t want to be working in the bar, but she had no other way to make money to support her children. It was really hard to see the brokenness in her eyes, so we prayed for her and each gave her a hug as we left. I pray that God does a mighty work in the hearts of each woman we talked to.
> We also picked up trash along the street, visited children and families at the dump, went to the local park and played basketball and other activities with the Guatemalans, played music at the local markets, as well as visited lots of churches.
This week was jam packed with people and different ministry opportunities. I am so thankful because God reminded me in the best possible way why I am here. At times I seem to forget, but when I got to hold that little old woman's hand it reminded me that moments like those are why I am here. Getting to give individuals to love of Christ in any way I can, even if it is just in sitting with them, it is so worth it.
I am safe and sound in Guatemala now! After a few days of training in Florida with my squad we traveled over 26 hours (total between sleeping at the airport and flights and buses) to make it to our first ministry. I will get into what this month will look like in a later blog.
I first wanted to say thanks for all the support and prayers that allowed me to reach my December support deadline. I saw God bring in way over $2000 in just over 2 weeks. It was awesome to see his provision at the hands of so many amazing people.
This time of raising support and preparing to leave for this trip has been a crazy one. Feeling so blessed by people who have had such an impact in my life across the years. Thanks to you all. First my family who have supported and pushed me toward my greatest potential and encouraged me any time I became fearful or lost faith in myself or God’s goodness. Plus to all of my awesome friends, Thank you guys all for pushing me to be the greatest version of myself. I feel so humbled to have friends that have encouraged me and have made me feel so important and valuable.
Thanks so much to each and every person, you mean the world to me!!!
And let the journey begin….
“Give thanks to the Lord Almighty for the Lord is good; his love endures forever.” Jeremiah 33:11
Last week I had a thought… what if I wasn’t able to go on the world race. Yes I would get by, but I would be crushed.
This led me to ask “Why do I want to go on the World Race”?
I want to go on the world race so that I can meet people who need a friend, those who need a hand, those who need a little encouragement and someone to tell them there is a hope in life and something greater then themselves, those who need someone to cry with. I want the opportunity to expand my mind with the things that I see and stand as an advocate for the poor and voiceless. I am one person with a passion and love for people, and I want to use that to make a difference even if it only makes a difference for one person. I am so grateful that these cultures are going to allow me to come in and share in their lives. My mind is blown that my squad and I will get to be the hands and feet of organizations that are making a difference in these countries. We get to work alongside and serve them. But more than anything I get the opportunity to be in the midst of peoples lives and love them the way Christ loves. (Trust me I don’t fully know what that looks like, but I am learning more and more what that looks like everyday, by the grace of God)
One of the greatest quotes from a fellow racer that speaks my heart for the race: “The World Race is not a great sacrifice. It’s an opportunity to seek God like I never have before, a chance to abandon selfishness and get lost in what He is doing around the world.” This lines up with my heart and reasoning for doing it. It by no means me wanting to receive brownie points or awards on my wall. But I getto live out my passion and huge heart for the world everyday for 11 months. My heart is so huge for the world and the people in it, I cannot wait for it to blow up with even more love and passion. What if I didn’t get to go…
But I do not believe this passion is in vain. So help me turn this “what if” into a mere thought and not a reality. I need your help to get me out on the field. At this moment I need$1460.55 by Monday, December 18th (one week). So any little amount that you are able to give would be so helpful. Click the Support Me! link on the left side of my blog. So right over there ß. Plus I am still in need of the rest of my gear, so if you are able to donate gear that would be so great, check out my list here: http://www.rei.com/GiftRegistryDetails/GR2469539
Also if you or anyone you know would like to hear more about what I am doing feel free to email me, I would love to hear from you… kwinistorfer@gmail.com
What if God rocked the world with your donations!!!
